Researchers Present the Rating of Ideal Life Partner Traits
An international research team surveyed over 10,000 respondents across 43 countries to examine how closely the ideal image of a romantic partner aligns with the actual partners people choose, and how this alignment shapes their romantic satisfaction. Based on the survey, the researchers compiled two ratings—qualities of an ideal life partner and the most valued traits in actual partners. The results have been published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
For many years, researchers have believed that satisfaction in a romantic relationship depends on how well one’s partner fits the ideal image of them, including factors such as intelligence, sense of humor, and appearance. This idea is supported by the ‘matching hypothesis.’ Scientists have repeatedly tested this theory, but results proved to be contradictory. Perhaps this is due to differences in the participants’ marital status. As a rule, the hypothesis was confirmed in studies with people in long-term relationships, but failed in experiments with participants who have not yet found a partner.
An international team of scientists from more than 40 countries, including researchers from HSE University, conducted the largest-scale verification of the matching hypothesis. The global survey involved 10,358 respondents from 43 countries, including Russia.
The researchers asked the participants to rate those traits they considered most desirable in an ideal partner and then to apply these criteria to real people they knew personally. People in a relationship described their current partner, while singles described a person with whom they would like to be in a romantic relationship.
Based on the results, the authors compiled a rating of ideal partner traits (stated preferences) and a rating of traits that influence the evaluation of a real romantic partner (revealed preferences).
It turned out that the stated and revealed preferences mostly coincided, albeit with some interesting discrepancies. For instance, such qualities as ‘confident,’ ‘a good listener,’ ‘patient,’ and ‘calm’ showed a significantly higher rating in the list of stated preferences vs revealed ones. On the other hand, such attributes as ‘attractive,’ ‘a good lover,’ ‘beautiful body,’ ‘sexy,’ and ‘smells good’ have a much higher rating among the revealed preferences. Moreover, the ‘good lover’ attribute was rated highest in terms of revealed preferences, while holding the 12th position out of 35 in terms of ideal preferences.
The researchers also looked into the differences between men and women in categories most important to people: attractiveness (the average of ‘attractive,’ ‘beautiful body,’ and ‘sexy’) and earning potential (the average of ‘ambitious,’ ‘financially secure,’ and ‘good job’). As a rule, men underestimated the importance they attached to concepts such as ‘attractiveness,’ ‘beautiful body,’ and ‘sexuality’ by about six ranks, while women underestimated these three traits by 13 ranks. As for ‘ambition,’ ‘financial security,’ and ‘good job,’ men undervalued them by an average of four ranks in their rating of ideal traits, while women, on the contrary, overvalued these traits to the same degree.
‘It turns out that both sexes underestimate the importance of attractiveness, but women much more so than men: the features they do not consider important turn out to be among the highest priorities in real life. At the same time, men underestimate—while women, on the contrary, overestimate—the importance of such qualities as ambition, financial security, and having a good job. As a result, despite the differences in the stated attitudes, in real life, men’s and women’s preferences are largely the same,’ explains Albina Gallyamova, a junior research fellow at the HSE Centre for Sociocultural Research. ‘However, the question remains: are our real preferences being adjusted due to the changing social structure, or are we actually much less different from each other in terms of basic attitudes than we think?’
The data obtained will help to better understand how people establish and maintain relationships. Therefore, the impact of perfect matching is slightly lower for long-term partners than for those seeking a relationship. ‘Our research shows that while matching one’s ideal does play a role, it should not be overestimated. People can form successful relationships with partners who do not fully meet their ideal criteria,’ Albina Gallyamova explains.
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